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Gift Suggestions On The Invitation

by Deb
(Minnesota)

I am hosting a baby shower for a friend's daughter-in-law. She had one shower before the twins were born and she registered at various stores.

Now the twins are here and I want to host a shower. She is not registered anywhere, is it ok to put on the invitation gift ideas or gift suggestions that include information as to what is needed from the mother?

Our Answer:

Hi Deb,

Thank you for your etiquette question. This is a question that actually comes up a lot with hostesses. With the modern trends creeping into our society, it is hard to know where the line is drawn for what is acceptable as far as etiquette goes.

Gift giving has been a tradition at baby showers, but there is a fine line drawn when it comes to suggesting gifts.

While it is ok to list the registry information, I don't recommend putting the actual gift ideas and suggestions on the invitation. There are mainly 2 reasons why I don't recommend this.

1. People do not like to feel like a certain type of gift is expected. It is looked at as bad taste to invite a person to a party and then tell them what they need to buy. The gift is not supposed to be mentioned (even though they know it is rude to show up without one). These subjects fill etiquette forums all the time.

2. Guests usually will ask if there is anything in particular needed when they RSVP. It happens quite a bit, and because you already know what she needs, you can definitely give them some suggestions when requested.

If you would like to request something, here are my 2 suggestions.

1. Have her register one more time, just for the items left on her list. This way she can register for the remaining items and you would not have to break any etiquette rules.

Or...

2. Include a small card or one liner on the invitation that says something like...

Please contact (hostess's name) if you need help with gift suggestions.

Whatever you decide to do, it is best to be as discreet as possible so the guests feel it is an option and not a solicitation.

I hope this has helped. Best of luck with the baby shower planning!

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