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Inviting People I Barely Know

I do not want to invite some of the people my sister in law is insisting on inviting, They are people I do not even talk to or barely know. How do I tell her I don't want them to come. I am trying to keep the number of guests down to around 40 and this makes the list go over. Help!

Our Answer:

Hi there,

Thank you for your etiquette question. I hope I understand your question correctly. You are the mom to be and the hostess wants to invite additional people beyond the 40 on your list...correct?? There is not a clear answer to this according to baby shower etiquette, but I will try to help you as much as possible with this. When I plan baby showers with mom-to-be's we always plan for a certain percentage who will not show up. Depending on how well the people know you and what conflicts of schedule that may be out there, the percentage number will change.
So if the percentage is 30%, you will have 28 guests at the shower. It is very rare that all 40 guests will show up, but it is possible.

I'm not sure how the people in question are related to the shower. Sometimes they are on the guy's side of the family and even though you don't know them well, they would like to be there in celebration of the husband. If it is the hostess that wants the additional people, she is the one paying for the additional food, invitations and favors as the hostess, so it really doesn't affect you very much to include them on the list.

If you strongly feel that you do not want them at the shower, there is no way around telling her directly. As the mom to be, you do have a right to say who is at the baby shower. Just tell her you don't feel comfortable inviting those people and leave it at that. If she has respect for you, she will see your mind is set and will respect your wishes.

Good luck with the baby on the way and the baby shower!

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