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My wife does not believe in baby showers she thinks its begging for gifts.

by George
(NY)

My wife does not believe in baby showers we are having twins. I want her to have a party but she doesn't want it. Her mother did not do it to any of her daughters, the husbands' side did it for them, and my wife's family attended them.

Well my side of the family is not that much financially secured. My mother-in-law told my wife that baby showers is like begging gifts from other people and that their family is rich they don't need that, but I am not rich!! and they don't help me.

I am having twins, double the expenses, any suggestions????

Our Answer:

Hi George,

Thank you for your question. I can understand how a person who is financially well off can see a baby shower as "begging for gifts", but a baby shower is so much more than the gifts. It is a celebration of life. It is people coming together to show their support for a family welcoming a new baby into the world.

It might be hard to have a baby shower if your wife is against it. But there are many other people who can throw the baby shower for her other than her family. There are close friends, your family, aunts and cousins. You don't need to be financially secure to host a baby shower. People who have very little money can put a wonderful baby shower together. It does not need to be extravagant to be special. The baby shower should not cost huge amounts of money, the whole purpose is to shower the mom with gifts to help her prepare for the new baby.

The baby shower is also not something that you can just place on someone's shoulders to host. Usually someone will approach her asking if she has one yet and offers to host. If she is against the baby shower she might decline it. But if she is someone open to the idea then she might allow someone to host it. Maybe if you help your wife research baby showers, she will come to see that it is very common.

There is also something called a "sip and see" that is held after the babies arrive. She might be more open to this option. Close friends and family are invited to come over and "see" the new babies. It is more casual than a normal baby shower. There are refreshments and appetizers served. Guests are not required to bring a gift to a sip and see, but most guests do.

I hope that helps. Good luck with the new babies on the way!

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