Who To Send A Baby Shower Invitation To...

by Rebecca
(Portland)

We have family and friends who live far away but who would want to be at the shower if they could come because they are important people to us, even though most likely none of them could make it. Is it okay to send them an invite so they know we thought of them?

Is it okay that the invitations also have where we are registered on them?

Our Answer:

Hi,

Thank you for your baby shower etiquette question. You are totally fine to send a baby shower invitation to close friends and family who live out of state. It is a great way to help them feel like they are part of the celebration even though they are too far to attend.

You are also ok to include the registration information on the invite. Just keep it small, at the bottom and a one liner. It is just a gift suggestion so it needs to be non-obtrusive.

Something like...

Rebecca is registered at Babies R Us.

Hope that helps. Good Luck with the baby shower!

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Verbal Invite to baby shower
by: Nisha-Editor

Hi 1st time Nana,

I am not sure why you received a verbal invite or if that is how they invited all of the guests to the party. It definitely is not normal, but they might have thought a verbal invite was enough for close family. It would have been proper to send an invitation to everyone. But who knows? It might have been a mistake or oversight on their part. Just don't let that put a damper on the party for you. The most important thing is that they wanted you to be there. :)

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No invitation, verbal invite
by: 1st Time Nana

I was invited verbally, did not get an actual invitation. Is this ok? This will be our first grandchild from our son and his beautiful wife.

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Inviting Neighbor
by: Nisha- Editor

TN Mom,

It is definitely tricky sending out invitations to people because you don't know if it would be looked at as a gift grab. Your reasoning is pretty sound, considering that she has not seen your daughter in 14 years. That is where it gets hard. The etiquette behind this rule is to keep people from turning these celebrations into gift requests.

If there were a ton of people from the neighborhood invited to the party and she was not, I would understand why she called. If there was not, then you did nothing wrong and made a judgment call on the side of caution. Luckily for you, your neighbor did call to ask about the invitation so you know how much she must care about your daughter and wants to be included in the celebration. Hope that helps! Best of luck with the baby shower!

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Neighbor Not Invited Baby Shower
by: Anonymous

My daughter questioned whether or not to send a baby shower invitation to my neighbor who knew her as a child, teenager, but after going to college, then marriage and moved to CO, has not seen this neighbor in 14 yrs.
I thought invitation would appear as a "gift" request and since neighbor and I barely talk often, told daughter to leave neighbor off list.
Bad idea, for the neighbor called and asked why she wasn't invited! Oops, I explained also the invitations were done by her friends, and there was a postage problem...and maybe her invite got lost or something like that. Honestly, I was caught off guard by neighbor's questioning reason for not being invited. Sounded brazen to me.
Anyway, did I mis-handle situation???
TN Mom

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My opinion
by: Nisha- Editor

Hi there,

Yes. If you have close friends and close family that you know would love to be part of the celebration, go ahead and send them an invitation.

The only time that it is not ok to send a baby shower invitation to a family/friend that lives far away and cannot attend, is if you know that you are not "close" to them.

So if you have an aunt that you haven't spoken to for years, it would be better for her to receive a birth announcement than be invited to a baby shower that she would not be able to attend.

If you have a best friend that you talk to on the phone once a month, send her an invitation. I generally say that immediate family is the best ones to send invites to just because you would be close to them. But just look at your relationship with the people you want to send invitations to.
If you are close, send an invitation, if you have a good relationship but do not talk much, send a birth announcement.

I hope that makes sense. That is the best way I can describe it. :)

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Out Of State friends and family
by: Mel

I have a lot of friends and family who live out of state, who would love to participate in my baby shower, but physically cannot. Do I send them an invitation anyway?

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